Turkey Time

Gobble gobble turkey lovers!! While the Americans feast on turkey today and reflect on the things for which they are thankful, I spent my day not eating turkey and teaching. Since my only option for finding turkey is on a sandwich from Subway, I chose to substitute chicken, and instead of baked, I chose the fried variety. My sides consisted of a delicious orange Fanta and a packet of salt that I didn't use. You may think that this sounds miserable (how can fried chicken be miserable?), but I'm ok with it because I'm so far departed from the States. There just isn't a Thanksgiving "feel" in Seoul right now. No orange and brown sweaters, no football, and no time off work. The only thing that reminds me of what I'm missing is talking to friends and family in the States. Sure, it makes me want to be home when I hear everyone's voice, but it's only one year and I'll have plenty more opportunities to break the wishbone, stuff myself silly, and drink copious amounts of fine wine and liquor before coming home to stuff my face with left-overs. So for all you enjoying this fine holiday, just remember that thousands of Native Americans lost their land and lives so we could have this annual celebration.

The difference in Korean and American schooling and culture became even more apparent today when I attempted to teach fourth graders about teen angst. The chapter in the seventh grade, American text book was about teenagers bored with school and, in particular, a kid that was preparing to fight another student. We have yet to read the book, but I prepared them for the story by having them look at all the pictures and write about how they made them feel, what the pictures remind them of, and what they think the story will be about. The responses were so far from what one would expect that it was kind of cute. Most of them couldn't understand why the teens looked so angry and predicted that they look that way because they have too much school work to do. Here's where our cultures differ. First of all, there is no way for a fourth grader to understand how a teenager is feeling because they haven't even started puberty. If they have, they are still in the "where did this hair come from" stage. This story should probably be saved for seventh graders, but the Koreans are so eager to learn at a high level, they end up reading about subjects far over their heads. So I was left to explain the confusion and awkwardness of adolescence to kids that think the biggest problems in life come from overloaded school work. Not for a moment did these kids even consider the fact that the kids in this story don't do a lot of homework, spend more time with their friends after school than studying, and are angry at the world for no apparent reason. They're not there yet and would have no way of knowing about it. Also, this story mainly takes place in an after school hang out that is a pool hall. Even if I was teaching this story to seventh graders here, they would not be able to relate to the fact that American kids hang out with each other after school instead of going to various private schools to learn a language, tae kwon do, or piano/violin. I don't know how I'm going to explain this to fourth graders.
Then I started thinking about how these kids learn in school. Rarely does the subject matter take precedence over memorizing vocabulary words and completing busy work. The Korean teachers drill the hell out of vocab and practically rip these kids heads off when they don't understand or study enough. Sure, when learning a language one must learn as much vocabulary as possible, but I also think it is just as, if not more, important to be able to read, comprehend, and analyze something in that language. These kids are at a high enough level to do that. I could spend the whole day trying to explain various words to these kids and giving them hours of homework for a test, but I've chosen to try to help them actually understand what they are reading. While we do that, we learn new words by applying them to the very text in which we find them. I will not spend my time making these kids memorize ridiculous words that I don't even use or hear in conversation or text. They get enough pressure from their parents and teachers; I'm not here to scare English into them.

Gone in November

A foreign teacher has left the country. I came to work today to find out that I will be picking up another class to make up for a vacancy left by a Canadian teacher in only his third month at the school. Fortunately, the class I gained is a group of all-stars with stellar personalities and great attitudes. Some teachers didn't get as good a deal, but no one is overly upset. Apparently, his grandfather is ill and he wanted to see him before he passed. That's understood, I can't argue with that. What I don't understand is why he didn't ask our director for some time off to be with his family. Whether he got it or not (he probably would have) doesn't really matter; he could have asked and given some notice of absence instead of making it back to Canada before notifying the school. That bothers me. As foreign teachers, we are treated pretty darn well at this school and should have nothing to complain about. He could have, and should have, shown the director and staff the respect they deserve. I know he wasn't having the best time here, but his attitude and social behavior didn't do much to help that. I don't want to make him out as a pure ass, but I think he deserves to have a few faults exposed because of this, plus I'm a little angry and have some built up animosity towards him. He went behind another teachers back to dump one of his classes on her because he felt he was overworked. We are all way under our contracted hours, and the fact that he'd complain about his workload shows the laziness that made him that "heavy" slob that he is. He was incapable of having a conversation without dishing out an insult. This can be illustrated by the countless times he chose to chime in with smart ass comments while I was having conversations with other people. Had he handled this situation with a little more class, I would never had made this attack. Under the circumstances, though, I'm happy to take my shot. I think the workplace will be a little more pleasant without him. That said, I hope that his family is ok and he is happier at home.
I just watched a Larry David episode in which he used his mother's death as an excuse to get out of various social engagements. A very funny episode and questionably relevant to this situation. I'm not suggesting this guy used his grandfather's condition as a way to get out of a bad situation, but I do find it curious that he didn't mention a word of it before and chose to tell the school after he was already home...

How can a place that was so humid this summer become so dry. The inside of my nose feels like it's going to crust over and fall off. I'm sure it will bleed soon.

Break like the Wind

In 1996, I was very "extreme" breaking winds baby. When my family were in the home. I "sended" out much breaking winds. When I sended out breaking winds, my family were laugh.
That's what I received for an assignment to write and essay about an embarrassing situation. While this kid didn't fulfill the entire assignment, I'll give him extra bonus points for creativity and the ability to make his teacher laugh. He also gets this special feature in my blog. I love the fact that he chose to put quotation marks around "extreme" and "sended." I also have found a deeper meaning in his writing. I get the idea that he didn't want to be an "'extreme' breaking winds baby," but his family made him out to be the clown. They would laugh at him, not with him, because of his uncontrollable gas. This is the kind of thing that gives a kid a complex. He probably can't relieve himself in a crowded public bathroom because of his fear of laughing adults. While you, me, and his family laugh at his misfortunes, he is suffering from an childhood of "extreme" flatulence.

I've had a good week that is about to get even better once I'm finished with my final class. It's the worst class to have before the weekend begins; a real downer. They're stuck in the middle of the most awkward time in their lives and far too cool to speak in class. At their age, it's just not en vougue to participate in class or even hint that they have the correct answer to a question. I can't even get these kids to nod their heads in agreement when I give them a correct answer. It usually goes something like this:
Me: "Do you agree that the simple past tense of do is did?"
Kids: Blank stare.
Me: "Nod your head if think that this is correct."
Kids: More blank stares, one kid looks confused, absolutely no head movement.
Me: "Shake your head "no" if you think this is wrong."
Kids: Look of disgust and contempt for the fact that I would even bother them to answer this.
You might think that they just don't know the answer, but these kids are learning the present perfect verb tense right now with no problems. They know the answers; they just don't want to give in to their teacher.
Anyhoo, after I survive this last class, I'm going to get a tall glass of vino at a great little tapas bar. This place is a real gem in the middle of an area flooded with over-bearing GI's and obnoxious foreigners looking for Korean women interested in "learning English."
So I'm off. Have a nice weekend and avoid any food that will give you "'extreme' breaking winds."

Gym

I saw more last week than I have seen since I've been here. The Korean War museum, The 63 Building (tallest building in Seoul), the Aquarium, a palace that has burned down and rebuilt about twenty times, and a soccer "friendly" between Korea and Sweden. All this was spent with my special lady friend too. There are some things we missed, but not too much. It was difficult doing anything special at night because of my work schedule, so we couldn't go to any nice dinners. Other than that, everything was gravee. It was a little weird having someone from home enter my world over here, but I was happy that she could see how I've been living. Her absence on Sunday night can also explain my deep and depressing mood shown in my previous entry. What do you expect after saying goodbye to someone like that, not knowing the next time you'll be together again.

I'm pleased to report that I just joined a gym. No, I haven't actually worked out yet, but that will come soon. I figure I'll just devote all my spare time to pumping iron and come back to the States a new man. You all won't even recognize me because I'll have muscles coming out of places you never imagined. That's right, I'm going to be a sculpted, muscle-bound god in nine months. No more man titties, love handles, or disproportionately small arms for this guy. Just wait, you'll see....

Speaking of gyms, I've been dealing with my old gym from the States that won't let me out of my contract. They asked that I fax my boarding pass upon arrival here to verify my status here, but I forgot and lost my boarding pass. Before I continue, how will a boarding pass verify that I'm a resident here? I could have just been traveling for a week. Sure, it would have been easy for me to just remember to send that info and be done with this nightmare, but I want to point out the idiocy of their operation. They also won't let me email a scanned copy of my visa or anything else because I could easily tamper with it on the computer. They require a fax on my employers letterhead verifying my employment. Couldn't I just get a sheet of letterhead - if we had it - and tamper with it on the computer, then print it out and fax it? I could have scanned my boarding pass and tampered with that and sent it by fax. They will not accept an email though. Since my school doesn't have letterhead, I'm going to send a copy of my employment verification in one of the school envelopes. I'm sure that will be a problem too and this will continue to be a pain in my ass. One thing I forgot to mention was that they already charged me a cancellation fee three months ago... This is the kind of bull shit that I don't have to deal with over here and don't miss one bit.

Late Night Conversation

I should be asleep right now, but for some reason I won't let myself turn off the lights and lay down. I do this quite often. I'm tired and would like to get some rest before what will surely be a long day tomorrow, but there's something that keeps me up. It's almost like I'll be missing out on something if I sleep. What could I be missing out on, though? DVDs that I can watch anytime, another reality show, a book that always seems lose priority to something else. I guess now I'm trying to find something to look forward to for the next few months. Having my lovely lady friend here had been the big landmark for the last couple months and that has now come and gone (it was great and I'll talk more about it some other time). The search is on, though, for a new goal. Sure, I have school, a country to explore, a band, and new friends, but I still feel like something is missing. Sometimes people ask me "why Korea?" and I usually say, "why not," or give a long explanation of how it makes sense financially and personally. I'm starting to really question why I came here and am having trouble finding any quality reasons for my decision. Don't misinterpret things, I do not regret my decision. I just have no clue why I'm here. I'll get some teaching experience and make some good friends, but part of me just wants to be back in San Francisco eating burritos and playing funky music. However, I have also gained perspective on SF and have decided that it's not that great. I still am quite fond of it, but I don't miss all of the pretentious know-it-alls that are too cool for school. I always felt like there was an attitude among people in that city that they were better than anyone who doesn't live there. I'm sure I had that attitude at times.
Without blabbering any more than I already have, I guess the point that I'm trying to make is that there is no perfect situation. There will always be something that is bothersome, some sacrifices that have to be made, and the grass will always be greener somewhere else. There are things that really bug me about this place and sometimes I feel like quitting, but there are also some great moments here that will keep coming. I just have to find another spot in the timeline that can serve as the light at the end of a sometimes pitch black and empty tunnel.

Short and Sweet

This will be a quick one. The birthday was good. It was low key like I like it and we had some quality fried chicken before I had to work. Working was not an ideal way to spend the day, especially with a special visitor in town, but it was only three hours. In that three hours, I spent my time teaching a Langston Hughes short story out of an American 8th grade level book to 5th grade Koreans. Yeah, crazy, huh. These kids probably understand it better than most American 8th graders too, even with the slang in the text. I continue to be amazed with these kids and love the enthusiasm they show towards learning. I am going to soak it up now and enjoy it because I doubt I will find anything close to this in the States.
That's it for now. I gotta run.

Resisting Temptations

I gave myself a big challenge last month, but chose not to talk about it because I didn't want to ruin it. It's kinda like when a pitcher has a no hitter in the works, you just don't say anything. As the month passed slowly, depriving myself of such a great pleasure began to irritate me. I was crabby, quick to snap, and easily irritable. Such entries as "Let Them Cry" illustrate my frustration and loss of cool during this streak of deprivation. For a whole month I side-stepped constant temptation in order to purify myself. This was a true test of will power, especially when I was home alone with just my imagination and memory. I would think of past experiences and want to give in to the pressure, but I had to prove to myself that I could resist temptation.
Not eating fried chicken for a month will do this to people. I'm happy to say that I made it through the month without a slip, though technicalities may prove that wrong. I chose to classify fried chicken as chicken on the bone and deep fried. Nuggets from Burger King don't count, and I only had them once anyway. For those of you thinking that this is no major feat, try moving to Korea with my eating habits and limited options of non-Korean food in your neighborhood. On top of that, try working in a place that has more fried chicken spots in a one block radius than in all of Mississippi, Alabama, and the Carolinas combined. The area around my school is more littered with chicken than the DMZ is with land mines. Analogies aside, I see fried chicken everywhere. All month it was calling me: "Davey, come eat me. My skin is so crispy and meat is so juicy. I want to be in your mouth." Not an easy task. I broke the streak the other day on my break and was thoroughly disappointed. A friend had been talking about a place for a while, so we decided to give it a go. The seasoning was off, and the meat was dry. I'll wait till my birthday to get some more. This time I'll go with what I know and find the satisfaction that has been missing for so long.

Speaking of chicken, my sweetie arrives tomorrow night. I've cleaned the place and myself; now it's just a waiting game until tomorrow night. I'm a little upset that I'll have to work while she's here, but I did manage to get a few classes off that will free me up till 6:30 on Tuesday and Thursday (I finish at 9:30). It's going to be a real pleasure having someone here to see how I've been living. I've been more observant of the little things that my daily life entails and can't wait to see how someone else reacts to the differences. I'll try to keep you posted.

If you were wondering, my birthday is Tuesday, November 8th and I will be accepting gifts and personal greetings from now until a week after that date. Just send all large amounts of cash to my paypal account. Cheers!

Slippin' Out

Why I got up at six this morning to listen to a dreadful performance by the Kansas City Chiefs escapes me. You'd think I'd realize by now that they will always let me down when my hopes are highest and will continue to make stupid mistakes and call illogical plays at crucial times. I know most of you could give a rat's ass about the Quiefs, but this is one of the few big attachments I make a special effort to keep from home. I love this team and hate myself for that even more. The only thing more embarrassing for me to admit is that I still follow the Kansas City Royals (the world's worst baseball team) closely. I keep telling myself that it will all be worth it one day, but that day is looking farther away than ever. Fucking Hell!! I'm must be an idiot.

Here's a funny story. I was starting a class the other day by passing out candy for Halloween. I told the kids to come up one at a time to get some, but started coughing mid-sentence and slipped out a loud ripper by mistake. The cough was too intense to keep my cheeks clinched, and it just crawled out. I proceeded to stumble over my words trying to divert any attention paid to my flatulence and in the most un-suave manner, I started scooting my chair away from any students. While I was scooting, I realized that this was one of my more potent emissions and quickly told my class to wait in their chairs for a second before we ate candy. What happened after that is a bit of a blur, but I know I started asking the most ridiculous questions ever. I still don't know if any of my students got a whiff of my cheese because their faces were stone. Either they didn't smell it, have the best poker faces I've ever seen, or were too shocked by the stench and had complete loss of all motor functions. Whatever the case, I'll just deny everything if it comes up again.

Things are good otherwise. I had another gig with my band this last weekend which rocked. I say that because I'm trying to get a hold of this whole indy rock thing; it's still new to me. There's only a few days until a special visit from my special someone. I'm still trying to decide what to do, but I just found out that the school is trying to have a staff picnic this Sunday, two days after arrival. Spending one of my few days off schmoozing with my special lady friend and work mates is not my idea of time well spent, and it's going to be a pain getting out of it since they already invited her. I'll figure something out.
That's it for me. I'll try to knock out some more stuff on a more consistent basis.