Curb Your Complaints

I spent the last half hour writing a bunch of harsh words about the indi rock band I decided to quit. Mid-writing, I chose to actually call one of my band mates and break the news. Before calling, I was so wrapped up in my own feelings, I didn't take time to think about the situation from a different perspective. I was angry for various reasons, and while I still feel the same way about the issues that upset me, I don't think it's right that I bash these guys on my blog. Even if I thought they deserved it, which they don't, it's still something I shouldn't do. Going on and on about my frustrations would only make me feel better and would only hurt them. That isn't fair to them, and that is the exact reason I gave them for my departure. Having a grumpy drummer that is sometimes blinded by his own arrogance does not make for good times, and aren't good times what making music is all about?

Complaining in my blog won't really help things. No one wants to hear that. I don't want to say it either. The thing about complaining all the time is that it starts to annoy everyone and it eats away at you. Instead of just having a normal conversation with a friend, you start to just complain about everything. You even start looking for things to bitch about because that's the way in which you're used to relating to people. I usually complain about various things when I write, but I'm almost always trying to do it in a funny--isn't this ridiculous and weird--kind of way. Dwelling on something that actually gets under your skin isn't healthy. Dealing with the problem and leaving it alone once it's done seems a little better. Constant reminders will only remind you to be unhappy; they will also remind others that you're not fun to be around because you're always in a bad mood. Sure, we all need to get stuff off of our chests every now and then, but there are times when it's clearly unnecessary and out of line. This would have been one of those times for me.

The Smack Down

Of all the things I've bitched about since arriving in the ROK, this one might be the worst. Let's take a trip to my own personal hell.

In a room full of Korean pre-teens, it's easy to become agitated. Some are too loud, some are too quiet, and some are just plain stupid. But there is one thing that they all do that sends me through the roof. What's most irritating is that I can't really do anything to change it. It's the worst when we have pizza. Any guesses? I can't stand people smacking their food. To me, it's like fingernails across a chalkboard or Fran Dresher's laugh. Every time we have food in my classes, I have to put up with the smacking in stereo. I feel like they maliciously accentuate each bite because they know I can't and won't really change their ways. From what I understand, smacking is perfectly acceptable in this culture. I've definitely heard plenty of it in classrooms and restaurants alike. Telling these kids to close their mouths when they chew just won't fly. They wouldn't understand and I don't want to attack an accepted cultural norm solely for my benefit. I do, however, want to smack each one of these children across the face when I hear them eat (pun intended).

One of my western co-workers smacks his food. That's unacceptable. In western culture, table manners and etiquette clearly say you should chew with your mouth closed. I can't say that I've ever read that anywhere, but I'm sure Ms. Manners would agree. I've told him to shut up before, but this is clearly a much deeper problem that isn't going to go away just because it bothers me. I imagine the smack has been a big part of his life and will not stop from just a few harsh words. The worst part of it is that it's a quick smack; almost like a squirrel going through a nut with the mouth of a hippo. I can't even make that noise if I try. So for the next six months I will avoid sharing meals with him and will make sure we're in a loud restaurant if we do ever break bread again.

))<>((

For those of you in "the know," you will understand the title of this post. For those of you that don't know, go see You and Me and Everyone We Know. It's a quality film proving that poop is always funny. If you want to make sure I'll like a movie, throw in some bathroom humor and I'll be pleased. Is my sense of humor usually sophomoric and tasteless? Absolutely. I see it as a part of me that keeps me young and spirited. I think a lot of people appreciate a good poop joke from time to time, but not everyone can handle them all the time. I, on the other hand, love the dirty stuff and will always appreciate a quality joke or tasteless conversation.
As I was just writing that, a kid at my school just popped out of his class yelling, "I fart!" Pure genius.

It was my first time seeing a movie in Korea. Overall a positive experience, but I can't decide if I like the idea of assigned seating in a movie theater or not. I like being able to pick my spot and position myself in just the right spot. The assigned seat takes some excitement away from the theater experience. Also, if you're the first person in the theater, you'd like to have your pick of seats. When you're given crap seats and no one is in the theater till the movie starts, you feel a little helpless and stupid. I can see how this is a good thing in Korea, though. Judging solely from subway behavior, I can tell that open seating would cause disasters in theaters all around Seoul. Pushing, grabbing, elbowing, and the occasional step on the foot would all create madness at the movies. The only thing worse that I've seen is the subway in Shanghai. I've never seen so many people scramble so fast to get a seat. It's like a mix of musical chairs and ultimate fighting.

You'd think the guys at Taco Chile Chile, the restaurant I praised on Korean TV, would give me some sort of recognition for the work I put in (I went there after a recording session with my indi rock band. I don't understand why we are recording considering we're not very good and my band mates can't play with a metronome, but I'm going along with it). I don't just volunteer this face up for any taqueria in Seoul. It's hard damn work endorsing products, and I did this one for free. For them to not even offer me a free coke is ridiculous. Their burritos aren't even that good. I take all my praise back.

If anyone in Seoul wants to check out my band, we're playing Friday at Funky Funky in Hongdae. 1:00am.

Xie Xie Shanghai

There are so many reasons why this particular post is special. First of all, I was always told that everything I do is special, and I shouldn't let anyone try to tell me any different. So I got that going for me, which is nice. This will be my 50th post coming at the halfway mark of my year long contract. If I continue at this pace, the math wizards out there may tell you that I'll have 100 posts by the time I'm out of this lovely metropolis. Today was also my debut on Korean television. I'm a huge star in Seoul now. Unfortunately, I haven't made it into any over-dramatized soaps yet; I was just interviewed at a restaurant for a show on SBS. I'm going to try to get a copy of it somehow. It was done at a place called Taco Chile Chile, a decent Taqueria around Noksapyeong. One of the receptionists at school, my boss, and some students have already commented on my stellar performance. I'll let you all know about my next feature.

I just got back from Shanghai last night. It is, to say the least, an impressive city, and a city filled with countless touristy options. It's like an enormous amusement park catering primarily to its tourists. I managed to wonder outside of the beaten path for a while and saw how a lot of the people there live. It is not pretty. In a country so heavily populated, it has to be so difficult to even compete for jobs or any opportunity to make a living. It was apparent when I was walking through some of the neighborhoods that the standard of living is low.

Another thing I noticed almost as soon as I got off the plane was the way the Chinese people look. They're not pretty. At least, compared to Koreans, they are not nearly as beautiful. I'm not saying I didn't see any good looking people, I just didn't see many. The women who massaged my feet and back, however, were absolutely beautiful--at least, they were by the time they were done with me (no happy endings; get your heads out of the gutter).

One of the highlights of the trip was the Maglev train that reaches speeds of 431 k/hr and above. It runs on magnets; therefore, it hovers over a magnetic platform. Very cool and very fast. The psychedelic tunnel that runs under the Huangpu River isn't nearly impressive, but is worth doing. It's a bizarre ride that seems more like an acid flashback than anything else.

I didn't make it up any of the skyscrapers because of the low visibility from the fog, but I got a good look at them from a boatride along the Huangpu. One side of the river is packed with skyscrapers and towers and the other side looks more like a modest European city with a modern flare.

I visited a bazaar, but chose not to haggle because I'm just not into that. Spending my day arguing over the price of a silk print doesn't spell out vacation to me. The sight of it is quite overwhelming. The streets are flooded with shoppers and tourist making it difficult to even see the ground on which you walk. I found a tea house in the middle of all this and bought some great jasmin tea that blooms into a flower when submerged in boiling water. Sweet.

I don't feel like talking about any of the other details of the trip, but I will comment on one issue. Traveling with a large group can be nice, but can also be quite the headache. This is not at all a shot at the people I was with. I like all of them and hold no animosity or negative feelings towards them. I just think it is best to travel in small groups to avoid conflict, clusterfucks, and general stress brought on by the need to try to please everyone in the group. As I told some of the people I was with, I could be with four other Dave Bricks (that's me) and still want to be alone. It's just easier to mobilize and get shit done with little or no stress when you're alone or with one other person. That's just how I roll...