Curb Your Complaints
I spent the last half hour writing a bunch of harsh words about the indi rock band I decided to quit. Mid-writing, I chose to actually call one of my band mates and break the news. Before calling, I was so wrapped up in my own feelings, I didn't take time to think about the situation from a different perspective. I was angry for various reasons, and while I still feel the same way about the issues that upset me, I don't think it's right that I bash these guys on my blog. Even if I thought they deserved it, which they don't, it's still something I shouldn't do. Going on and on about my frustrations would only make me feel better and would only hurt them. That isn't fair to them, and that is the exact reason I gave them for my departure. Having a grumpy drummer that is sometimes blinded by his own arrogance does not make for good times, and aren't good times what making music is all about?
Complaining in my blog won't really help things. No one wants to hear that. I don't want to say it either. The thing about complaining all the time is that it starts to annoy everyone and it eats away at you. Instead of just having a normal conversation with a friend, you start to just complain about everything. You even start looking for things to bitch about because that's the way in which you're used to relating to people. I usually complain about various things when I write, but I'm almost always trying to do it in a funny--isn't this ridiculous and weird--kind of way. Dwelling on something that actually gets under your skin isn't healthy. Dealing with the problem and leaving it alone once it's done seems a little better. Constant reminders will only remind you to be unhappy; they will also remind others that you're not fun to be around because you're always in a bad mood. Sure, we all need to get stuff off of our chests every now and then, but there are times when it's clearly unnecessary and out of line. This would have been one of those times for me.
posted by Dave Brick @ 2:28 PM
2 Comments:
db,
Your right! I've done that before. It's funny, usually when i decide not to complain is when i'm writing it down. When my friends would send emails asking for an update on my life, I would type out laundry list of compliants. But i'd never send the email after i read it. I left it in my emailbox as a draft and every once in a while i'll read through them and realize while reading them that what I was complaining about wasn't so bad afterall.
derv,
I agree with ya, my friend. You've never been one to complain about anything anyway, so this was particularly illuminating.
All kidding aside, during the "dark period" in my life following a certain breakup, I would write volumes of hysterical complaints about how terrible my life was, how my job sucked, how this, how that, and the only people I figured I could send these diatribes to were my folks. So, no doubt, there's a stash of emails somewhere that will serve someone well when the doctors at the sanitarium are trying to figure out my mental history before performing the lobotomy.
Long story short, for the first time in my life I was trying to alleviate my own discomfort by trying to pawn it off on others. Sometimes that included saying things to Joe that I wish I hadn't. Just not worth it.
Per my favorite song of today, it's better to "pick up the pieces and go home."
Miss you, brother.
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