The Smack Down

Of all the things I've bitched about since arriving in the ROK, this one might be the worst. Let's take a trip to my own personal hell.

In a room full of Korean pre-teens, it's easy to become agitated. Some are too loud, some are too quiet, and some are just plain stupid. But there is one thing that they all do that sends me through the roof. What's most irritating is that I can't really do anything to change it. It's the worst when we have pizza. Any guesses? I can't stand people smacking their food. To me, it's like fingernails across a chalkboard or Fran Dresher's laugh. Every time we have food in my classes, I have to put up with the smacking in stereo. I feel like they maliciously accentuate each bite because they know I can't and won't really change their ways. From what I understand, smacking is perfectly acceptable in this culture. I've definitely heard plenty of it in classrooms and restaurants alike. Telling these kids to close their mouths when they chew just won't fly. They wouldn't understand and I don't want to attack an accepted cultural norm solely for my benefit. I do, however, want to smack each one of these children across the face when I hear them eat (pun intended).

One of my western co-workers smacks his food. That's unacceptable. In western culture, table manners and etiquette clearly say you should chew with your mouth closed. I can't say that I've ever read that anywhere, but I'm sure Ms. Manners would agree. I've told him to shut up before, but this is clearly a much deeper problem that isn't going to go away just because it bothers me. I imagine the smack has been a big part of his life and will not stop from just a few harsh words. The worst part of it is that it's a quick smack; almost like a squirrel going through a nut with the mouth of a hippo. I can't even make that noise if I try. So for the next six months I will avoid sharing meals with him and will make sure we're in a loud restaurant if we do ever break bread again.