Routine

You'd think I'd develop a new found respect for the ballad while here. Nope. I just came from a dinner completely ruined by Whitney Houston and Billy Joel. Their drawn out vocals and crescendos spoiled my appetite. Is it because every restaurant plays these songs that I will never be able to appreciate Whitney's title track from the Waiting to Exhale soundtrack? Absolutely. Ok, so I never liked it in the first place, but now I despise it. Now I have a serious problem with Whitney and will seriously injure her if we ever meet. Same to you Billy. If I hear Piano Man one more time, I may send out a bounty for your head. You've ruined the wrong man's meal.

I've come into a routine here. Monday nights are now playstation soccer nights at a friends, Tuesdays are real soccer at a local field, Wednesday I have band practice, Thursdays have become poker night, and one night of the next couple weekends I have a gig. Having a schedule is nice, but not always what I want. Because I work evenings and usually end up doing something after work, I don't get to sleep until after two. Even when I don't have anything to do after work, I still don't want to go to bed when I get home at nine or ten. It just doesn't work for me. I want to be able to unwind after work and do mindless things. This, however, ruins my mornings. I rarely wake up before eleven and more than often end up rising around noon. After eating and primping myself for the day, I don't have much time for anything else. So I just save it all for the night. Problem is, if I don't have anything specific to do, it's too late to see the city, go shopping, or anything else constructive or worth while. So I haven't seen too much here or done anything touristy. Granted, I've had an in depth look at Korean life and lifestyle, and I have experienced far more than any tourist will. I have to get out though, and finding the time is a problem. Not sleeping and becoming a speed freak isn't an option because I value my sleep too much and don't like being paranoid all the time. Quitting any of my scheduled activities isn't going to happen either. I do have a visit from my special lady friend in a week which will surely get me out, but spending time at home together is also a priority. The day is going to come when I just sack up and start doing all sorts of crazy things. When I do, I'll have much more material for this blog.
Gotta teach now.

ps-the words on this computer are in Korean, so I cannot check my spelling.

Still Hot

The heat wars continue. I think I know why these people turn the heat so high. I've had roommates who have done this before. They come into a cold house and think that they can warm things up quicker if they blast the heat. What they don't realize is that the technology on heating systems is advanced enough to blast themselves until they reach the desired temperature and then sustain that temperature by turning itself on and off accordingly. Setting a thermostat to 85 degrees won't really heat things faster than setting it to a reasonable 71 degrees if it is 60 degrees in the house to begin with. I know that is hard for some people to understand, and will be even harder for me to explain in Korean, so I will just spend the winter in my tropical paradise. I could also be wrong and these freaks could actually enjoy draining every amount of fluid from their bodies while sleeping.

I played my first gig in Korea which was fun. I even was able to do a little stand-up while the guitarist struggled to tune his guitar mid-set. He never was able to actually tune it, so we had to skip our last two songs. This was a first for me. I won't go too far into this because I don't want to offend anyone who can't tune a guitar, but I'll just say that I miss playing funk music in the Bay. I really like the guys I'm playing with, but it's not really my style. Oh well, I'm still having fun with it and will continue to do so. After we finished our set, the manager of the club had us sit at a private table and wait for a while. The other folks in the band were shaking in their boots at what might happen. The anticipation, fear, and embarrassment was intense, and we were all ready for a heated conversation. But the fear quickly subsided when the owner of the club showed up with a bottle of tequila and six shot glasses. He loved the show. I actually felt like a real "rock and roller" sitting in the VIP section drinking a free bottle of tequila and chatting it up with the "high profile" people of the club. The only thing missing was a group of dirty girls waiting to do naughty things to us.

I had to call it an early night after the show because I had to work on Saturday. My Elite students had a seminar in the Marriott Hotel. They wrote their own speeches about well-being and made power point presentations. It was quite impressive watching these kids recite a five minute speech in English and use words that most kids their age in the states would not even know. These kids are smart, but their information was completely inaccurate at times. One kid claimed that people in America don't say "well-being" but actually say "LOHAS," which means lifestyle of health and sustainability. I don't know about any of you from the states, but I have never heard this and wouldn't say it even if I had. I wasn't about to tell this kid that though. I was awarded at the seminar with a bouquet of flowers from one of the mothers and was thanked by a few other parents. That was really nice. I don't know whose mother gave me the flowers, but her son or daughter must really like me. Go figure. Now, they are sitting in a Guinness pint glass atop my breakfast table.

I'd like to clarify something. I don't really want my students to cry and I don't really wish for revenge upon these kids. I just get frustrated sometimes with the language barrier in the classroom. These kids often don't listen to a word I say and obviously make fun of me or talk behind my back in Korean. Some have even said that they don't like me to my face. I know I should expect this and not take it personally, which I don't most of the time. Some kids just get to me after a while. The last blog was just a illustration of my frustration with some of my students. Classroom management can be a pain in the ass with the wild classes, especially when they don't consider you to be a "real" teacher. Think about any foreign teachers you may have had or came in contact with when you were young. That's me now. I have a lot to learn.

Let Them Cry

Don't mess with a kid's crayons. Seriously. I thought I was going to lose my head after taking away two crayons from a student. I was actually the person who provided the crayons and limited each little hell-child to using four at a time. This wannabe teachers pet (the most annoying student I have) took six crayons which left just a few for the others. I saw this and immediately snatched two of his crayons while telling him he was only to have two. I should have given him the choice of which crayon I took, but I took the peach one and thus, suffered his wrath. Secretly, I was quite pleased when I saw the tears start flooding. I really don't like this kid. He's one of those annoying, know-it-all, loud mouths that will answer every question even though you aren't asking him. But his tears quickly turned into anger, which led him to the dark side. If he had sith powers, I would have been up against the wall in a choke hold. Fortunately, I'm the one in charge of the class and can either ignore or punish his outrageous behavior. I put him on lock-down in his desk and told him that he needs to learn how to share if he's going to stay in class. Granted, he had a right to be pissed at me for snatching his crayon, but he didn't follow the rules in the beginning and deserved punishment. I hope this little incident will shut him up for a while.

Another student cried in class yesterday. This time it was a girl who felt cheated out of a place at the front of the line out of class. She's always the most anxious kid at the end of class that persistently asks me if it is time to line up. "Teacher, line up?" When I saw that some of the other girls wouldn't give her a spot in the front, I paused and debated the options for a while. Do I make them all sit down and line up again politely, do I make her go to the back of the line, do I give her a spot at the front, or do I just wait until class is over and leave her out of the line. Before I could make a solid decision, the last option came to be, and the girl was in tears. Her cry only intensified when she knocked over a desk in her failed attempt to sneak in between other students on their way out. To be honest, I really didn't care that she was crying and just let her walk out of the class with no sympathy from me. These kids push and claw at each other to get in line every day in and out of class, so letting one of them cry without even getting in line is almost like punishment for all the time spent hurting others.

So what's the lesson learned from these little incidents? Kids can be evil and selfish little shits sometimes and they're going to cry when they don't get their way. Giving them sympathy is like validating their spoiled behavior and letting them cry can be a great reward to you. These spoiled shits need a little tough love every now and then.

Relief and Disappointment

I don't know why, but I have some weird reaction when coming home. For some reason, I always have to urinate when I walk in the door to my house. Whether I've gone just five minutes before or not doesn't matter; I always have to pee when I walk in the door. I'll spare you all any pop-psychological analysis. Maybe I just have a weak bladder.

After I relieved myself when I came home from band practice, I turned on the TV with hopes of watching something beside Friends or American Idol. While both of those programs were on, I managed to find a documentary about the legendary funk supergroup, Funkadelic. I caught the program just as they were showing some great footage of the Mothership landing in concert (for those of you who are out of the "know," wait just a second). I couldn't believe that I found such a gem aired in this country. I actually let out a loud "YES" when I first turned it on. This sudden excitement was met with equally as sudden disappointment when I found out that the whole show was in Korean. Even William "Bootsy" Collins' commentary was over-dubbed. How are you going to dub over Bootsy's voice? It just can't sound the same in another language when he says, "you look extravaganza in those fun glasses, baby" or "I'll be a snowball in the summertime." It was just too good to be true. I now have to accept the fact that I'm stuck watching the Bachelor and America's Next Top Model for the next year.

The Battle Continues

The battle with my neighbor is back on. I woke up at five in the morning the other night to a roasting floor and sweat drenched body. What I don't understand is why they are turning on the heat in the middle of the night. I didn't get home till after midnight and the thermostat was where I left it earlier in the day. These people must have gotten up around three or four to blast the heat so they could lose a few pounds while they sleep. Also, a lot of people sleep on the floor in this country, so are these people sleeping on a hot bed? How is that comfortable? So it is now my mission to catch them in the act of turning up the heat and try to explain to them in sign language that it is too hot. Then, I'm going to find the dog that wakes me up by barking every morning and remove its tiny voice box.

I went to Everland amusement park yesterday. It was great! I haven't been on a real roller-coaster in years, so it was a true pleasure waiting in line for forty-five minutes for a minute long thrill. I didn't really mind the waiting though. I was in the presence of good company and the anticipation of each ride kept me interested. By the end of the day, my stomach was a little shakey, I had done all the rides, I had too much greasy food, and I was sick of the constant stink of butter and sugar. I don't know why we enjoy going to places that are designed to make us vomit, but they sure are fun.

Here's something kind of weird, sad, and interesting. One of the Korean teachers at my school had to suddenly quit the other day because her dad's business went bankrupt. The whole family is moving to the country because they cannot deal with the shame that comes with this. All ties are cut off with friends and they will start a new life. I don't know how they will deal with the legal aspects of the bankruptcy, but I do know that they won't be in Seoul to do it. This couldn't have happened to a nicer person either. Instead of making money to possibly help her family, she has to abandon her job, friends, and lifestyle to hide with the rest of her family. It's something that I really don't understand from a cultural aspect, especially coming from a country where going bankrupt is as common as fat people in the Midwest.

One last thing. I can't tell you how sick I am of being approached by Jehovah's Witnesses. They're unavoidable and relentless. Yesterday, a woman approached me in the subway telling me that Jesus will save me. What really pissed me off is that it was Yom Kippur, the highest Jewish holy day, and she wouldn't let me atone for my sins in peace... OK, so I wasn't atoning or fasting or even observing the holiday in any way, but I am Jewish and am not going to accept Christ as my savior. I tried to explain all this to her, then told her that I was going to hell. She looked at me in pity and walked off. This was the third encounter like that this week. I told a different guy the whole Jewish thing earlier in the week and he tried to do a conversion right then and there. What is even crazier to me is that Christianity wasn't a major religion in Korea until recently. Now, there are neon, yes I said neon, red crosses all over the city. I'm sure Jesus Christ had it in his master plan to label every church with the most obnoxious neon crosses available.

It's Globalization Damnit!!

Many have been amazed with the fact that there is not just one, but two Costco's (that I know of) in Seoul. Let me try to make things a little more clear about Seoul since I have probably done a poor job of that thus far. This is an enormous and highly advanced city. Twelve million people live here and technologically, this is one of the most advanced countries in the world. There are some of the most modern and sophisticated technologies that still have me confused. It is still, however, a developing country. Everywhere I go, there are massive construction projects, and it is more common to see an "old-style" outdoor market than a Wal-Mart. I don't really know the history of Korea and will not pretend to know why things are the way they are, but I have to believe that the Korean War and Economic Crisis in the late nineties have a lot, if not everything, to do with why Korea is the way it is. From what I hear, ten years ago the only western food that was readily available was a piece of ground beef with a scoop of macaroni. This was referred to as a steak dinner. Now, there are plenty of Outback's, Chili's, Bennigan's, KFC's, Popeye's, and every other fast food or franchised restaurant you'll find at any local American strip mall. They are eager to westernize. That's why we also find Wal-Mart and Costco here. Never underestimate the power of the western franchise. Also, never underestimate the power of consumers demanding western franchises. A friend of mine made a good point in a conversation this weekend: places like Starbuck's don't just open up for the sake of opening, the consumer brings them here and keeps them here. Furthermore, they are franchises that are Korean owned and hold a large role in the local economy. Apparently, a recently opened Starbuck's on the campus of one of the universities here was highly protested and met with tons of opposition before its opening. Since its opening, it has been the highest grossing Starbuck's in Seoul, and there are a lot here. So for those of you opposed to the ugly side of globalization, you're not just battling the evil corporations and imperialist minded leaders of your country, but also everyone else in the world that has been seduced into western culture. If an economy is strong enough to support one of these businesses, you will probably find one somewhere. Also, I'm not a big coffee drinker, but apparently, Starbuck's is just better than most coffee you find at an independently owned coffee shop. The same can be applied to Costco and Wal-Mart. So don't be surprised if you find a Costco the next time you visit Turkmenistan. Quite a husky-puzzle, huh.

P.S. I really don't feel like correcting this entry beyond performing the spell check, so I apologize if it's just a bunch of incoherent blabbering.

Chips and Bedding

My apologies for the irregularity of my entries. I have no excuse other than my sheer laziness.

I was watching a commercial on AFN (Armed Forces Network) with Quiet Roit talking about something, I really wasn't paying attention to what they were saying. What I was paying attention to was the music in the background. It was "We're Not Gonna Take It." Whether you are or were a glam-rock enthusiast or just alive during the eighties, you'll know that Twisted Sister sang "We're Not Gonna Take It." While this really sparked a chuckle in me, it also exposed what we have been witnessing throughout the last few years, a general lack of attention to detail by the powers that be. You'd think with the amount of intelligence available, someone could do a little research find some Quiet Riot tunes. "Cum on Feel the Noise" and "Bang Your Head" aren't exactly obscure eighties rock anthems. You can bet that AFN will be receiving a letter from me in the near future. If I can't trust their ads, then how can I trust their army?

This is shaping up to be one of the best days in the last few weeks. I've spent the last week battling with an unknown enemy in my apartment complex. This skid mark has been blasting the heat in my apartment every morning turning my room into a sauna. I usually wake up between eleven and noon to a floor on which you could cook an egg, and walk out my door to find my thermostat turned up to 25 Celsius. It feels more like 30, which translates to roughly 90 degrees Fahrenheit. 25c is around 80f. This all spells HOT. Anyway, I'm working out that problem through my school and landlord and it should be sorted soon...hopefully. Things started turning around today when I went to the supermarket. I was simply looking for a little salt and pepper that are rarely used here and ended up finding tortilla chips, a virtually impossible thing to find in Korea. Since buying some frozen guacamole at Costco the other week, I have yet to be able to use it properly without any chips. Now, I can have a proper Mexican fiesta in the comfort of my own home. While the whole chip thing really lifted my spirits, getting new bedding in the mail sent me sky high. One of the Korean teachers here helped my buy some cheap bedding online and it just arrived. Nevermind the fact that it may be the ugliest color known to man, it is sure to bed ten times more comfortable than what I was using. I had been sleeping on top of a dust ruffle that surely hadn't been washed in years. I would have washed it, but since I don't have a dryer, it would take too long to dry. Sleeping on my mattress without a protective sheet was not an option.
So, now I'm equipped with new sheets and chips. I won't have to leave the place for a while, but I will not be eating my chips in bed. And yes, I would kick myself out of bed for doing that.

NOTE: For those of you who think I misspelled "cum" in the Quiet Riot song title, I did not. They are the perverted bastards who chose to use that spelling.