dbrick in the cut

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Bathroom Talk

I'm moving tomorrow. I'm not, however, moving into my new place. Apparently it's not ready yet, so I'll be living in a temporary place for the next two weeks. I'm a little pissed off, but I'll get over it. What will piss me off more is if this temporary place is nicer than my new one. That would just be wrong. I'll tell you one thing, neither can be worse than my current house. I woke up the other day to a mosquito buzzing in my ear and an overturned cockroach beside my bed. It kinda smells like someone took a huge dump in the kitchen a couple years ago and it's just been rotting there with someone stepping in it occasionally. That smell doesn't even rival the sewage drain at the base of the stairs leading up to my street. Every time I cross it I gag at the stink of the whole block's ca-ca rushing under my feet. If I actually wanted to cook in the polluted kitchen (which I don't), I wouldn't even be able to use the stove. The gas does not work unless you hold it on "light" the entire time you cook. The bathroom is huge, but the toilet is stained with years of dookie droppings. Why haven't I complained yet you may ask. I always knew this was a temporary place and decided to look past its' imperfections and take it for what it is, free housing.

I was supposed to go to an island this last weekend for chusok (Korean Thanksgiving), but got rained out. Instead a bunch of people met up for a nice curry, some drinks, and board games at a friends house. It was great fun, but one must be careful when casual drinks at two in the afternoon turn in to a night out till five in the morning. Needless to say, my Sunday was not pleasant. I did make a recovery and managed to go to the Seoul Grand Park Zoo on Monday. My last memory at a zoo was somewhat of a traumatic experience. I was just a wee boy standing in one of the circular window frames looking at the tigers with a Coke in my hand. I guess one of the tigers didn't like the look on my face and jumped toward the window letting out a huge growl. I fell backward onto the ground spilling all of my coke onto my head in front of about twenty people. I think I gave one of those delayed cries after looking around and realizing that I was young and should be crying. No tigers jumped at me this time, but I did get to see some unexpected wildlife. While looking at the elephants, I came across a little boy on his father's shoulders. The unexpected was that he did not have any pants on. If he had not had a shirt on, it wouldn't have seemed so odd, but the shirt was on. I don't care how old you are, who does that in a public space. The sight doesn't really bother me; I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. If the kid is young enough to be naked in a zoo, then isn't he probably young enough to pee on his dad's neck. If he's old enough to be potty-trained, then why isn't he wearing pants. I guess I'm grateful for his insistence on breaking social norms since it has given me something to write about.


I think that about does it for me this time. Sorry for all the pooh talk. I have to go pack for the move.

3 Comments:

At 12:33 AM, Blogger Mara said...

I was getting ready to go to lunch and with all the ca-ca, skeetos and cockroachs... I'm not sure anything will stay down.. damn man! How do you stand it!

 
At 4:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The kid looks chubby, but his butt is skinny. His butt is unproportional to the rest of his body...I suppose he has room to grow.

Stay out tha dirt!

 
At 12:21 PM, Blogger koyama said...

totally hillarious. hope the dad isn't a creepy...I lived in Japan for 2 years and didn't ever see anything like that. Only old men peeing at random in their front yard gardens and wandering around in what looked like cloth pinned up diapers...

 

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